Where to start?
There is a lot to learn about bondage and BDSM before diving in, but there is one thing that is more important than all the knots or the gratification that can come from bondage and that is saftey! Realistically, practicing bondage and BDSM can be dangerous so it is imperative to follow the ABCs of bondage safety. Fear not, Knotty Desires is here with a simple blueprint of how to practice bondage in a way that reduces the risks -- so bask in the indulgence of fantasies without fluster.
A is for Acquire Knowledge
While most people have a general idea of what bondage is, when one decides to begin practicing bondage they have to educate themselves on many topics. Learning is a big part of rope bondage safety, doing research, reading blogs, asking questions, and studying the experiences of others will clarify the dos and don’ts.
Safest Rope Options
It's very important to know what kinds of rope are appropriate based on the level of experience you have. Is the best idea to go with a softer natural fiber like twisted cotton, braided cotton, or maybe even something with a little more give like nylon? Maybe a beginner should start with something a little more course like hemp or jute to provide stronger compression? Perhaps synthetic fibers like braided polypropylene with the wide variety of colors would be more suitable for some added bedroom finesse.
Most Secure Diameters of Bondage Rope
Someone interested in rope bondage would also need to know what diameter is going to work best for them to learn on. With practice, dexterity will increase but the diameter you start with should be something easy for someone new to rope bondage to work with. Either way, if you intend to learn you will have to study ropes and you and your partner will have to get your hands on some to make decisions together.
A Tip From the Pros
A little tip of must-have information is to learn the “two-finger rule” (two fingers should comfortably fit between the rope and the skin of the rope receiver). Tying a rope too tight can cut off circulation causing numbness to the bottom’s extremities -- it's even possible that there could be damage caused to the nerves if there is not enough space. Yes, bondage is binding, but knowing and following important tips like the Two-Finger Rule are critical to safely practicing. You don’t know -- what you don’t know yet, so make sure you do your fair share in knowing exactly how tight the rope should be on your partner.
Helping the Bottom Out of the Bondage Rope
Future riggers of the world must know important safety equipment they should have on hand at all times. Medical scissors or EMS scissors are a very necessary piece of the bondage safety equipment. Of course, you could have guessed that scissors could be a necessity for bondage just in case someone needs to be released very quickly, but regular scissors only increase the risk of injury or further injury. EMT or Medical scissors have blunt tips and a bend to easily and safely slip between the rope and the receivers skin cutting the rope without the possibility of anyone being cut by a sharp point.
Common Bondage Rope Material -- Things You Need to Know
Depending on what your position or pose goals are, you definitely want to make sure that you know the right type of bondage rope for the job. The stretch provided by nylon rope may be great for floor bondage, but nylon can not be used for suspension due to the elasticity of the material. An aspiring rigger has to research and understand the diameter of bondage rope, what materials those ropes should be made of depending on what positions are trying to be achieved, and the quality of rope. Using the wrong rope diameter or material can cause the bondage rope to break. The possibility of a rope over-tightening around a bottom’s neck is very serious when a rope breaks due to the lack of knowledge. Know what materials are needed and find a quality source before wrapping rope around someone you love.
Planning the Bondage Session
Lastly, acquiring knowledge gives the ability to create a plan. A rigger should know all the materials needed for the image they see in their head. If suspension is the goal, make sure to know how to install any hardware and understand how to properly test it before ever trusting it to hold the weight of your partner. Make sure all the items needed to provide aftercare for the rope bunny (make sure to understand why aftercare is important to help with the emotional part of bondage). Bondage and BDSM are so much fun, but definitely never start this spellbinding fetish without knowing what you are doing first.
With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility
Makes sure to know the responsibilities as the rigger and as the rope receiver to make sure that a sexy experience doesn't end up with a hospital visit. That's the wrong kind of pain even for hardcore BDSM. A top has to exert effort in learning their craft while a bottom has to openly communicate any discomfort.
B is for Building Skill Set
No, building skills doesn’t mean building a house or even an entertainment system. Before beginning to practice bondage on a person you care about, build the skills necessary to practice BDSM safely. Every new venture has a learning curve and just because you can tie your shoes, doesn’t mean you know how to bind someone’s wrists together expertly or safely for that matter. So before anyone goes slinging ropes around the bedposts, take the time to practice first.
Practice Makes Perfect
The best place to practice a new tie is on a chair. No, not practice tying her to the chair yet -- be patient! Using the legs of a chair to practice different knots gives a lot flexibility to improve proficiency without fearing mistakes. While the first attempts at any knot may not be stellar, prepare to impress her with expertise and producing a cunningly crafted piece of art to adorn her body by mastering your prowess.
Utilizing Mastered Skills During Bondage Play
It’s better to practice one or two ties until they are mastered rather than haphazardly throwing together several different unpracticed knots. To create beautiful bondage art use the same perfectly crafted knot or weave to create an intriguing design. Not only will it increase the aesthetics of the final piece -- it is safer as well. There will be growth over time, but give each detail the time and attention they deserve to accomplish perfection before moving on to new knots or binds.
C is for Communication
Communication is key in BDSM! To promote safety there has to be communicating with anyone involved in your bondage or BDSM affair. Make sure there is a clear understanding of what each participant wants and doesn’t want. There has to be respect for one another’s boundaries on all sides. While one may be ready to be more adventurous, the other may need a little time to adjust. As long as there is always open and full disclosure no one will feel pressured or unsafe.
Building Trust
Bondage and BDSM is truly about trust and pushing your limits to increase the pleasure in any sexual experience. Being able to talk to your partner and letting them know what you are ready for, and trusting that they will stop if you are at a new boundary is really important to ensure that this is a pleasant experience for everyone involved. Because there will be pushing of boundaries, choosing a safe word is incredibly important.
Safe Word and Expectations
If anyone feels the need to deploy the safe word during a bondage experience, the partner is expected to stop all sexual activity immediately. The top should be prepared at that time to release the restraints if the rope receiver is feeling uncomfortable and is finished with the bondage session. This is where trust comes into play, anyone willing to be tied up or tied down has to be able to trust that when they are no longer feeling the experience in a positive way, the bottom will release them immediately. Remember if the receiver is new this may happen and surely if there is a desire to practice bondage long term -- wishes must be respected if the safe word is used. There is the risk that a partner will lose interest in BDSM if they no longer trust the person that tied them up in their first experience.
Avoiding Nerve Damage and Other Risks
While one may want the compression that bondage is going to provide, numbness is never a good sign. If a bottom ever experiences numbness in any area of the body, it is their responsibility to let the top know immediately. Allowing numbness to persist without communicating it to the top can cause serious injury. Please don't mess around and take the risk of a long term injury that lack of circulation can cause. The loss of feeling can be more than just temporary. Prolonged numbness can cause nerve damage as well -- the medical term is compression neuropathy. When a nerve can no longer transmit electrical impulses to the brain is can take time and physical therapy to regain feeling or even movement. So if someone is "getting on your nerves" make sure you let that person know!
Topics that need to be discussed before planning your first rope quest:
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What activities are on the table?
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What activities are off the table?
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Chose a safe word.
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Set expectations and agree on those expectations before beginning.
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Communicate what ties the rigger is comfortable with.
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Communicate what ties, bonds, or areas of the body the rope receiver is comfortable or uncomfortable with.
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Prepare the riggers kit with ropes of different materials and diameters that each participant would like to try.
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Make sure you have all safety equipment available.
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Test the durability of any hardpoint before attempting suspension.
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Start simple and grow together -- always continue to communicate especially when deciding together that it is time to try something new.
Get To It!
Always listen to what your partner is telling you and how they are feeling. They should make sure that you are being listened to as well. Following this simple pathway to your first bondage experience will ensure that your first feverish, kinky night will not be your last!
